Let’s Talk – Valentine’s Day

Okay, so I know this introduction has sounded negative on all thing’s Valentine’s Day, giving the tone of one of those that say “who care’s, it’s not a special day anyway”. Actually, I think the whole day is quite cute. Indeed, “every day is a day to show you love your partner”, but you can say the same quote about a number of manufactured holidays that come with gifts and celebrations. So sometimes ssshhh – and let people be happy.

Valentine’s Day since 2015 for me has been spent with Levi, and it’s mostly spent with a nice dinner, sometimes an activity and last year… in lockdown. That first Valentine’s Day we had in 2015, really, was the first proper “Valentine’s Day” I’d ever participated in. Prior to that, Valentine’s was a Galentine’s for me, or an unfortunate event of a failed date, and for a good number of years, and rose-less school day too.

Back in school, all you needed was to donate £1 to the school’s charity committee and share the name of whoever you were crushing on to buy them a rose. Once Valentine’s Day hit, roses would be distributed to those that were chosen. Obviously, it was a must to have it proudly popping out of your school bag if you got one. Back then, boyfriends would buy them for their girlfriends, anyone would buy them for their crushes, groups of friends would buy them for each other such that everybody in the squad could wear the badge of honour, and a few people would buy it for themselves. More often that not, everyone would find out who the secret senders had been. My friends and I thought it was “sad” to buy roses for each other, side eyed at those that had it sticking out of their bags, and for those of us that found ourselves single on Valentine’s Day, or without a crush, a rose-less day it was.

I didn’t wear that badge of honour throughout my time in school, but when I was 16 going on 17, I got my first Valentine’s date. Obviously, I only told my friends about this. I had been chatting to someone from school who had been in the year above on BBM, and it was time to finally meet up. I casually suggested February 14th as though it was any other day, and he had told me how that’d mae me his first official Valentine. So it was set! The date was in the diary. I think it was a Saturday or Sunday, and I kid you not, I even remember the outfit I had worn that day. The plan was to meet in the afternoon, and when I had texted him on February 14th to finalise a time, he hadn’t responded… until 3pm. By which time, I’d spent the majority of the day in bed crying and feeling embarrassed after being ignored for so many hours. Apparently, he had gone to bed late and spent the whole morning and most of the afternoon in a deep sleep. It wasn’t a very believable excude. As you do when you’re young – I wiped my tears, pretended I had made other plans, and then we continued when we had left off.

Attempt 2 was in university, I had been speaking to someone, and patiently tapping my watch as Valentine’s Day was approaching. I mean… when was he going to ask?! In my opinion, everything had probably already been booked out. In the end, after a few drinks, I had brought it up and asked the question – what are you waiting for?! Only to be told that Valentine’s Day was reserved for serious relationships, 5 months+ in length. As much as I had been hoping to rectify the tragic V-Day from 2 years prior at the time, as you do when you’re young, I decided that this made sense too. Of course – February 14th is such a big day, it probably should stay within the confines of something serious… right? When my friends had asked me why I was not doing anything on Valentine’s Day, I had explained this to them too and their silence said it all.

All these years later, I received a reminder on Sunday about a restaurant booking later this evening, and for a second, I had to remind myself “oh yeah – it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow”. In the confines of what has been a stable relationship, the lead up to the day has not been as much of a crescendo as Valentine’s Day of the past; often, it’s a good excuse to dress up, try out a fancy restaurant, and be happy in love.

If your Valentine’s Day is a Galentine’s Day, or even just a day like any other, then enjoy that too. Instagram can be excessive, but your own time to post a “me and mines” flick is probably pending if that’s what you want one day. If your V-Day mirrors any of the aforementioned misfortunes, then laugh about it, and one day maybe you can can laugh again, blog about it, and invite others to laugh at you too.