I was really stuck about what to write about this weekend, especially given that I’d promised another Valentine’s Day theme day post. I considered debunking a few relationship myths – but given every relationship is different, are there really many ‘myths’ to debunk? I eventually came across this hilarious post on Pauline’s blog, and it inspired me to write something similar – reminiscing on a number of tragic Valentine’s Days I’ve had over the years. These are all pretty funny now to look back on – and hope it can bring a little comfort to anyone who may be having a crappy Valentine’s Day to give a little reminder that – we’ve all been there before.
The one with no roses
A short one to kick off two (much) more tragic tales. In school, there was always the opportunity to give out Valentine’s roses to whoever you liked, anonymously, and they’d be given out throughout the day with the proceeds going to charity. Every girl that got a rose would always let everyone know, by having it oh so casually sticking out of their bag as they went about their day. There were always a lot of rumours that would circulate regarding who had gotten a rose for who – and often, those people would end up in relationships (well, the kind of ‘relationships’ you have when you’re thirteen). A lot of the time you’d find out that a whole friendship group had decided to buy roses for each other just to have them sticking out their bag for everyone to think that a real admirer had given one to them. Granted, I never got a rose, in all those years of school. After a year or two of being hopeful whenever someone would come into class to hand a roses out to the few lucky girls, thinking maybe it could be for me, I eventually decided to give up and rather role my eyes to everyone that had them sticking out of their bags to be petty instead.
The one that fell asleep
I was never really the girl growing up that had boyfriends and loads of crushes. At the time it definitely didn’t make me feel like the coolest girl ever, but now at age 21 I can appreciate that it would have made no difference to my current life whatsoever. The most I could muster up for my non-existent love life was a 24 hour ‘relationship’ when I was twelve, where I dumped my respective other half the next day after agreeing to be his girlfriend because I was scared my parents would find I had a boyfriend and also I didn’t want to put his name in my MSN name (which was in the terms and conditions of relationships back in the day). Given the above, when I was 16/17 and not-bad-looking guy form the year above started showing an interest in me – I couldn’t have been more excited. It would be the first time I was ‘seeing’ a guy… ever. Well, I thought I was seeing him, he definitely wasn’t seeing me…
I’d say in the total of around five months we were talking, we probably met up maybe four times, and each time we’d just watch a movie. One time we had planned to meet up and then we both realised that the day we had planned to see eachother was actually going to be on Valentine’s Day (well, he may have ‘just realised’, but I definitely knew and you already know the day was my coincidental suggestion). We planned to do nothing special, we were just going to chill and watch a movie as per; but this time he had me feeling special – talm about I’m his first Valentine! I literally remember the day like it was yesterday, I remember waking up with butterflies, I remember exactly what I wore and how I had my make up and hair, I even remember what the weather was like. Some time into the morning I messaged him asking what the plans were, and after not receiving a response, I messaged again a few hours later with a ‘?’. Eventually I was under the impression that he had totally disregarded the whole day, and I just spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping, and crying, and trying to hide my red eyes behind my glasses if anyone walked into my room. Eventually he messaged back in the evening telling me he was ‘asleep all day’ and was ‘so sorry’. In hindsight, I realise he was almost definitely out with another girl. I responded saying that it was fine because I had made other plans anyway (psshhh…) – and that was how my first potential ‘Valentine’s Day’ ended in tears.
The time I was a coleslaw side piece
When I was around eighteen, I was talking to a guy for maybe a total of just three or so months. By this time I was in university, but I was as stupid as ever. When Valentine’s Day came around we’d probably been talking for a total of two and a bit months, and after a night out I got a little brave and made a joke on text to him about taking me out for V-Day. The next morning we forgot about the joke and it was never brought up again until a few days later, to which point he shut me down and basically said “bih, no…” According to him the criteria for such treatment was to be someone he had atleast been talking to for at least five months – and, well, ladies… I just didn’t meet the criteria. Eventually we planned to meet up on Valentine’s Day as it was the only day we were both free, but he told me not to get “too excited” because afterall, it “was nothing special” and essentially we were “just meeting up as friends” – talk about shots fired. Can you believe, after all of that, instead of telling him where to go, I said “yeah I know it’s nothing special”, and kept talking to him as normal. Whereas deep down, I was pretty gutted. I even managed to convince myself that he was right – why should you go out for Valentine’s Day if you haven’t met the five month criertia?! I remember all my friends as university asking me what I did for Valentine’s Day that year and I spewed out the same thing to them “eh, nothing. It’s nothing special.” No one said anything in response, which is saying enough. Not to say that Valentine’s Day is the most special day in the world, but if if you’re seeing someone, and of course in a relationship with someone, its probably not a bad idea to spend it with them… you know?
I’m happy to say that the above experience was the last tragic Valentine’s Day I’ve had in a while, because later that year I met my boyfriend and three Valentine’s Days together later, the rest is history. I cannot say that I miss those days of constant boy stress, but it definitely is funny now in hindsight to look at the events above and laugh.
Valentine’s Day is seen as this huge deal, everyone has their opinion on why they don’t think it’s important (or why they do), and what you should spend the day doing. All in all, I think Valentine’s Day is a good thing – because it’s just a time to appreciate your other half and your relationship, or the relationships around you (for e.g. Galentine’s Day!) There’s nothing wrong with spreading the love, and if what you really want is to celebrate it with another half – that day will come.
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