#MidweekMotivation – Getting off the downward spiral of unhappiness

I started off this final academic year really quite sad and also quite unsettled/nervous about the year ahead. I guess for the most part I felt as though my life had been thrown ‘off balance’, and a few things were hitting me left right and center that for a while, I really allowed myself to spiral down into a state of spending 60% of the time feeling upset (I’ll touch on this a little more in my end-of-year breakdown post). It was around this time that I discovered the power of positivity, and a couple months down the line, I’ve reached a point where I am in one of the most relaxed and happiest places I’ve been in for a while. For this week’s #midweekmotivation, here are a few tips to get yourself off that spiral, and to get you to learn how to own your own happiness.

Understand that the bad times are temporary
Life absolutely has its ups and downs – no one is happy and satisfied all the time. Ideally we want to by happy more times than sad, but this means something else – when you’re sad and you feel like life is playing games with you, this is only temporary. In fact, sometimes when I’m really upset I just think – “damn, there must be something amazing about to happen in my life if this is how I’m feeling at the moment…” In March, I had some down moments as I suddenly realised I’d lost almost all the drive and ambition I always prided myself on having in secondary school; so I took some time to build myself up – walked into my internship super motivated, and walked out with a job! A job before I’ve even graduated – that was the amazing thing that was due to turn my life/mindset/happiness back around again.

Be proactive in making a change
I think when you’re going through periods of feeling down, it’s important to be proactive in terms of whatever it is that is bothering you. Sometimes, it is such a case that you just need to let life be – and things will inevitably turn themselves around eventually (as I said above, the bad times are temporary); but often, there are things we can do to change things around ourselves. For example, you may be feeling down due to a toxic friendship or relationship; one of the best things you can do for yourself is to remove negativity from your life, a toxic friend/partner that brings more sadness to your life than happiness is not one you need in your life.

Try to stay positive
Whenever I used to get upset about something, I’d literally let that thing eat me alive and allow myself to become more and more upset. This summer I got a 2.1 in my exams, I was a little disappointed because I’d worked so hard for a first (which I’m still working for, of course), but I let that disappointment turn into sadness, I kept letting it eat away at me and soon enough I started telling myself negative things -“am I even smart at all? I worked so hard, how embarassing, what a failure.” It took a good bring down back to earth to realise how absolutely ridiculous I was being, how on earth could I be upset over a 2.1?! I make a conscious effort not to be so hard on myself anymore, to put things into perspective and understand what, in the bigger scheme of things, just isn’t a big deal at all.

I think it’s so easy to get upset, let your mind to blow things up and allow you to spiral deeper and deeper into that sadness. It’s always so important to see everything for what it is, instead of saying “I did badly in my exams – I’m dumb”, actually reason it out – “I did badly because I didn’t revise enough.” Perspective is important – then make a genuine effort to get happy again.

Hope these tips help!